Date : Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Time : 4/28/2009 07:21:00 PM
Title : Disappointment! ):

Well guess what? Im freaaaaking disappointed w myself.. Cnt believed i failed Chinese for the FIRST time. I couldnt figure out what caused the great plunge. Sigh. I didnt use to study for Chinese in sec 1 & 2. Didnt study for it this time again.. Everything shld b fine. I didnt expected myself to fail at all. Not at all!


The moment i received my papers, i was shocked. Almost broke into tears but held them back. I crushed my paper on the spot, due to the great disappointment. Until after Chinese lesson, i finally broke into tears. God damn it! The most disappointing thing is tt even students frm E2, E3, E4 who used to fail chinese all passed n i didnt. I cried. Everyone told me to nt giv up n do better for the nxt test. But... the nxt test is MYE alrd! What am i to do? I hav no mre hope. I just cant let this thing off my mind.


After school, met Angela Chan. Told her abt my failure. She was also shocked. I cried again. Look. Even she could nt believe tt i failed my Chinese. Actually, its nt the marks tt made me feel upset. It's just the disappointment, THE DISAPPOINTMENT. I just feel lyk giving up Chinese. I dun wan to study it anymore. I dont care if i hav failed math. But i just cnt accept the fact tt i failed my Chinese!!!


Today, Luo Ziwei told me to meet her. I told her straight in the face NO. She told me she wanted to giv me tuition as my composition is also weakening. Sigh. I realli dont know what to do. I am alrd hurt enuff n she brings down my self-esteem even mre! Im realli trying veri hard nt to use vulgarities. Felt tt it was uncouth. I just wan to get an A for chinese. Y is it lyk so diff to come true? I hope LiuJingBo can teach me back. I want to pass. I Want To Pass. I WANT TO PASS!!! Is it just so wrong to have this hope? What can i do?? I want to study for it. But what can i study for it? WHAT WHAT WHAT?


Omg. I cnt believe im crying over this again. It is so stupid. Yes. I am stupid. Giv me a break! Chinese has been one of my best subjects. Now? Its no longer so!!!!!!! Im afraid, so afraid tt i will b retained or dropped to E2 or E3. It will thn be so hard to face the world. Should i just accept LuoZiwei's offer to teach me Chinese? Should I? I noe my problem. Its tt i dun understand the meaning of the passages.


From Primary 1 to Sec 2. I nvr ever failed Chinese. I guess im just turning into a failure where there's no turning back in life. Been thinking a lot yst n todae. Trying to get over it. But i cnt. Well, guess i should now spend the time to study. So i shall go off now.


Byebyes. Takecares. Goodnight.


I will be fine.

Cheryl

28.04.09 (Tuesday)

** Doubt i will be blogging until after MYE. All the best to everyone taking MYE. (: Hope i do well. Same to all...

Date : Saturday, April 25, 2009
Time : 4/25/2009 10:46:00 PM
Title : Bear! Friends for life.^^

Wow.. went to 'U.S' todae!!! Haha. United Square to b exact. XD My mum bought me a bear. Not any ordinary bear but its a special bear, MY BEAR(: Hmm.. Went to the Build-A-Bear shop.. So cool. Spent $42.90 on it. But it was worth it, i think.




But the whole process was lyk rather pai seh luh.. Heh. So many ppl were watching, especially children. Lol. The first step was okay luh. Haha.



1. Pick a toy skin that i lyk.


2. Stuff the toy with the amount of cotton i wanted.


3. Take a small heart n make a wish.


4. Stuff the heart into the bear.


5. Sew the bear up.


6. Comb n clean the bear.


7. Choose clothes for the bear.


8. Make a birth certificate for the bear with a name.


Was realli pai seh, especially during combing the bear. So many ppl watching me -- one big buffalo, cleaning a non-living bear. Lol. I didnt choose clothes for my bear coz it was lyk so expensive?! One jacket for it costs alrd lyk $22.90! Pasar malam buy clothes oso nt so ex lors!!! :p Thn i chose a name for my bear. Called him Uttie. ( Sounds lyk Ah Di ). After tt the people print out the birth cirtificate n make wrapped him up in a box, which is his home. Haha...




Here r some pictures of Uttie!





My Uttie!
Uttie n his birth cert (:



xiaodong will nvr be alone again...

Another UNIQUE thing abt Uttie is tt he has a heartbeat!!! WOW wow WOW!!!

Lol. Guess Im realli tired alrd. So.. gtg. Byebyes. Takecares. Goodnite.

Lalalalala

Cheryl

supposedly 25.04.09(Saturday)

** All the best for upcoming exams!!

Date : Friday, April 24, 2009
Time : 4/24/2009 10:15:00 PM
Title : Supposedly happy or sad? :(:

It's been a long time since i last posted.. Well, things have changed quite a lot during this period of time. Quarrels, fun, etc; all happening at once. I smiled, I cried, I screamed, I frowned. Exams r round the corner n i dont know what shit i've exactly gotten myself into. As seen, i hav deleted my past few posts.. N yeah, might hav guessed what should hav happened yeah?


For 2 people to be together is nt an easy thing. The silliest mistake i hav ever done in the whole 14++years of my life is that i dont consider properly b4 getting into actions. Thus, i end up with full of regrets. Not onli I have hurt myself, i have hurt those who hav really really loved me. Since 2 ppl being together had caused so much unhappiness, y nt just let go? 长痛不如短痛... Isnt it?


I didnt wan to hurt him, n i hav realised my mistakes. But what's the point? It's a fact tt i have hurt him, deeply. It hurts to to see him get hurt. 早知今日何必当初? I dont want to hurt him further. So i let him go. I want him to b happy. I want to c him smile. It doesnt seem to be wrking. I myself hav no idea what i can do to make him happy. Coz if i still go back to him now, i know i wont b happy. Sometimes i really envy those who can admire shuai ge, talk abt their crushes, blah blah blah.. Being in a relationship keeps u restricted to all those. Tt is also one of the reasons why i chose to let go..


Another reason is coz i want to study. I need to study. Y? After i got my A Math Polynomial class test results, i have decided tt im gonna study. I got 1/20 for tt miserable test. Its nothing to be proud of actually. Its just to motivate myself to study hard n do well. Im gonna prove ppl tt i can do well n i will do it! Haha.


He told me tt i looked happy even after what had happened. It might b true. Hah.. Actually i do feel happier n more carefree now. I hope he feels the same luh. Lyk i said, i wan to c his glowing smile. It really makes him look a lot better. (: Hope he doesnt harp on this thing too much. I wish he would just let go of this n lead a happy life, forgetting abt me n concentrating mre on his studies n nt getting affected... 当不了情人还是可以当朋友的... <>

One more thing, im really afraid tt i have fallen for another guy(CRUSH) while in the relationship. So.. Yah. I think i made the right choice to let him go, dun wan him to get hurt. Whenever im wif CRUSH, i feel happy. He tells jokes, he's fun, but it may just b a little crush. I dont know luh. Everytime a strting of a little 'LOVE' is lyk tt. I noe it's impossible for me & CRUSH coz its lyk we known each other for a number of years already n he has always been lyk.. a good friend to me i guess? Its just that this year we could hav got exceptionally close for some reasons.. I doubt i want CRUSH to find out coz i dun wan to ruin even the friendship we have. I will just keep him a secret in myself n no one else is gonna noe abt him. Some may hav guessed who he is, but im not saying anything. Maybe he'll be out of my mind someday n i may even find myself stupid having a crush on him. But for now, im not sure.. Im just afraid i would FALL for him. Just keep my fingers crossed that i wont.


I dont want him who hav really loved me so much to feel hurt. As i said it might b onli a short-term kind of feelings for CRUSH. Im just so confused. I want to get everything out of my mind n focus on my studies. But i cnt get the both of them out of my mind. Haha.


Im nt sure what my feelings r currently. Guess i'll just go n sleep. Lol. Easiest way to get rid of problems, but they'll be back tmr morning , the moment i open my eyes. : Just hope i will sleep forever n never wake up, so i wont hav anymore troubles. ^^ DONT WORRY ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN TILL IM 80YEAR-OLD. Lol.

Goodnight. Takecares && byebyes!!


Lalalalala

Cheryl

24.05.09(Friday)

** Btw, Happy Birthday to Khiddee. Tmr's his birthday!!!